This Question Changed Everything

Photo by Emily Morter on Unsplash 

As an introvert, the pandemic has not been much of a burden on me.  I enjoy spending my days on solitary activities, like working, reading and (especially) writing.  There’s one thing I do miss, though.

Pre-pandemic it was my privilege to globe trot, teaching The Solin Process℠ to thousands of advisors in North America, Europe and Asia.  Because of the way I structured my talks, there was lot of interaction with the audience.  In fact, as part of my introduction, the sponsor would say:  Dan wanted me to tell you his presentation isn’t interrupted by your questions.  Instead, your questions will be interrupted by his presentation.

This simple statement empowered the audience to ask questions almost as soon as I started to explain The Solin Process℠.  Most of my talks were more like a really engaging press conference, with questions more interesting than anything I had to say.  

Sometimes, I posed my own questions. There was one question that changed everything.  

I want to share it with you.  I hope you will find it as meaningful and I did.

My question

Here’s the question:

Have you ever had the experience of telling a really interesting story (like an special trip or meaningful accomplishment), and the other person responded by saying something like:  Tell me more about that?

I ask this question at every talk.  Out of thousands of advisors, only a few indicated they had this experience.

When I ask them to elaborate, they all told similar stories.  There was one person in their lives that always made them feel special.  It may have been a parent, a relative or a best friend.

One person told me about his relationship with his aunt.  Whenever he would see her, she would grab both his hands, look him in the eye, and say: Tell me everything about what you’re doing.

I would then ask:  How do you feel about that person?

The universal response was: I love them. 

The person who told the story about his aunt reflected for a moment and said:  Now that you mention it, everyone loves her.  She’s invited to more social events than she can attend.  It’s not that’s she’s that interesting or even that intelligent.  I think I now understand why.

Why it matters

At the end of my talk, I leave the audience with this thought.

What if you were that person?

What if everyone who met you said you were a very special, unique person for whom they had very positive feelings.

When you become that person, all your relationships will transform.  

It’s not easy.  It means putting your agenda aside and showing a genuine interest in the other person.

If you become that person with prospects you’ll see your conversion rate increase significantly.

Don’t stop there.  

Be that person in all your interactions, with your loved ones, friends, and colleagues.

It may change your life.