Originally published on Advisor Perspectives

I know many advisors. It’s a challenge to determine what traits the successful ones exhibit that differentiates them from their peers.

I’ve found the answer.

Over the past several years, I’ve met many advisors at conferences and in connection with the work of our digital marketing firm. I always ask them to tell me something about themselves and what they enjoy doing.

This simple exercise has yielded profound revelations.

Kindness abounds

The range of responses is broad, but there’s one, overriding theme: Kindness abounds. One woman said she taught disabled children how to ski. Others discussed their work with different charities. Advisors who limited their practice to women “in transition” talked about the satisfaction they derive from helping clients when they are the most vulnerable.

Leadership and kindness

Our digital marketing firm was retained to update content and webpage design. Part of our service is to produce two ninety-second videos. We don’t script these videos. Instead, we give the advisors talking points and ask them to respond to questions posed by the videographer.

The partners in these firms are almost always men.

One of the questions we ask them is: “Tell us something about yourself your colleagues may not know.”

Here’s what we’ve found.

The most successful advisors describe events that illustrate kindness and compassion. We’ve heard stories about adoptions of orphans from impoverished countries, raising funds to provide shoes to underprivileged children, and mentoring abused and neglected children.

The practice of kindness

My wife and I recently spent a weekend in New York City. After a late dinner, we called an Uber car to take us back to the hotel. As we were waiting for the car, I noticed an elderly woman trying to flag a taxi while holding on to her walker. She was alone and clearly struggling.

Both my wife and I went over to her. We flagged a taxi, helped her get into it, folded her walker and placed it in the taxi. She thanked us profusely.

We had a wonderful time in New York, as we always do. Yet, when we talk about that weekend, we always discuss that woman. The satisfaction we got from helping her is the memory that has stayed with us.

I had a similar experience in my condominium building. A resident recently diagnosed with early-stage Alzheimer’s was wandering around the lobby. When he saw me, he plaintively asked if I could direct him to the mailroom. I escorted him there, helped him locate his mailbox and took him back to his unit.

I felt sad for him and grateful not to be in his state. I also recognized how good it felt to help him and make his life a little easier.

In my experience with both genders, there’s a positive relationship between kindness and success.

If that’s not enough to motivate you to be kinder, consider this:

Studies demonstrate being kind to others boosts your level of happiness.

Kindness really is magic.