Originally published on Advisor Perspectives, May 2, 2018

Here’s how I discovered something so counter-intuitive and powerful that it could be applied to all aspects of relating to others – not just in a business context.

I came up with the premise for the Solin Process℠ by accident. I was doing research to determine why my rate of converting prospects wasn’t higher. I was curious to find out whether the same rigorous academic research that fueled my investment philosophy would improve my sales process.

It turned out that not only was that the case, but that my research helped me, and others, in our personal lives.

Agendas are powerful

I’m struck by how powerful our personal agendas are and how they overwhelm common sense. Recently, I had a series of experiences reinforcing how difficult it is for us to put our agendas aside and show genuine interest in others.

My new company is in growth mode. We need a roster of project managers, financial writers, IT professionals, SEO experts and social-media professionals to help evidence-based advisors.

There’s no shortage of those people. When we post a job description on one of the job-aggregating sites, we receive many replies. It’s my job to interview the short list and decide who to hire.

With few exceptions, the conversation proceeds along these lines. I ask the applicants to tell me about themselves. The applicant engages in a protracted discussion of their background and experience and why they believe they are well qualified for the position being discussed.

I then ask about their expectation for compensation. They give me an hourly rate and justify it based on their experience and qualifications. The call then ends with me telling them I will get back to them.

What’s missing?

Few applicants asked any questions indicating an interest in our company, what we do, why we do it, how we price our services, why we limit our services to evidence-based advisors or how they could help us grow our business.

They’re so intensely focused on their agenda, they don’t even acknowledge that we might have one too.

How do you think I would respond if an applicant said this?: “I looked at your website and I want to start a relationship with your company. What would it take to do that?”

Broader applicability

The initial formulation of my process was intended to help advisors convert more prospects. I was surprised at the impact it had. It was immediate and, in some cases, transformational.

But what really surprised me is my process has much broader applicability. I’ve asked participants to try it with their loved ones, especially their children. It applies every time you interact with others, in a business or social context.

When I recently addressed a group of advisors, I asked them to tell me who their favorite person was and why. One advisor told me about her grandmother. When I asked what made her special, she said listing to my talk gave her this insight: Whenever I see her, the first thing she says to me is, tell me everything that’s happened since I saw you last.

To be better liked in any situation or to gather more assets as an advisor, focus more intently on the person in front of you.