Originally published on Advisor Perspectives, March 28, 2018

“But I do have an agenda! I want to convert that prospect into a client.” I hear that quite often, but it is a misguided approach. Indeed, the biggest challenge advisors face when speaking with prospects is to adopt the mental state of a blank piece of paper.

The basic premise

The Solin Process℠ is premised on academically researched neuroscience. Here are the facts:

1. Humans are wired with a very short attention span. After at most 10 minutes of listening, our brain starts to wander.
2. This makes perfect sense because we can process the spoken word at around 450 words a minute, but most people speak at the rate of around 125-150 words a minute. Consequently, when listening, the majority of the bandwidth of our brains is free to think about other things.
3. The goal of human interaction is to fully engage the other person. By any definition of “fully engage,” if more than 50% of the brain of the listener is focused on unrelated subjects, they are not “fully engaged.” The data is compelling. One study found that, after listening to a 10-minute oral presentation, the average listener only retained about half of what was said.Think about these findings the next time you are speaking to your prospect.
4. When we are speaking, we are fully engaged. The brain functions serially. When you talk, your brain doesn’t have the capacity to focus on anything other than what you are saying (or what you are about to say).

The right questions

The right questions have no agenda associated with them, other than getting to know the prospect as a person. I encourage advisors to start the conversation with, “Tell me about yourself.” The best follow-up question is, “Can you tell me more about that?”

Since you have no agenda, you’re happy to let the conversation go wherever the prospect wants to take it.

The science behind this approach is compelling. We know that people love to talk about themselves. Your job is to get them to do so, and not to steer the conversation towards subjects you believe should be discussed.

My process involves an understanding that your function is not to convey information, but rather to elicit it. You will only convey information when the prospect (as almost always happens) asks you a direct question. You will answer that question briefly, secure in the knowledge that what you are conveying is of genuine interest to the prospect.

Adjust your mindset

To implement the Solin Process℠, you need to refine your listening skills. The basic technique is called “mindful listening.” It’s explained here.

You can’t be a good listener if you are preparing your response while the other person is talking or if your mind is wandering.

Your goal is to listen without judging or labeling.

Finally – and here’s where many advisors get into trouble – you aren’t trying to achieve anything. Let the prospect talk. Follow-up as appropriate.

Implementing the Solin Process℠ is counter-intuitive and takes practice. But the impact is immediate and transformational.