Originally published on Advisor Perspectives, July 17, 2017

Everyone wants to achieve a higher level of engagement with prospects and clients. There’s no shortage of articles about how to achieve this worthy goal.

Unfortunately, most of them are nonsense, devoid of any peer-reviewed evidence supporting the techniques they advocate.

The Solin Process℠ for total engagement

What if I told you I could engage anyone almost instantly? The engagement will be total. The person I’m engaging will be focused on the topic of my choosing, to the exclusion of everything else. I can do this with one person or when I’m speaking to an audience.

This technique is so powerful I don’t even have to be with you. I can do it in this blog.

I feel your skepticism. Let me demonstrate.

Write down the answer to this question on a piece of paper immediately after reading it. What color is your car?

From the time you read that question, to the time you answered it, you were 100% engaged. You weren’t thinking about anything else.

I could have asked you a more involved question and held your exclusive attention for much longer. What if I asked: “How did you and your spouse or partner meet”?

Pretty neat, right? I get to engage you on any subject I want, whenever I want. All I have to do is ask you a question.

Why this works

In his book, The Science of Selling, David Hoffeld explained why asking questions results in total engagement. Hoffeld quoted academics in neuroscience who asserted “the human brain can only think about one idea at a time.”

Contrary to generally accepted wisdom, our brain is not capable of multi-tasking. If more than one thing is competing for its attention, it will process information “largely in a serial fashion,” according to Hoffeld.

Once you understand this basic principle of neuroscience, you’ll accept the fact that, when you ask prospects or clients a question, the entire focus of their attention will be on responding to your inquiry.

How not to engage

It’s just as important to understand how not to engage: Dominate the conversation.

You may think you’re in control, but you actually have no idea what the other person is thinking. They may be focused on your message or on their next meeting or marital issues. You’ve lost control.

With my process, you gain total control over the conversation. You can steer the subject matter in any direction you wish. When you ask a question, you have full confidence the other person is completely engaged.

Compare these two scenarios: talking or asking questions. It’s obvious which one is more effective.

Of course, all questions are not created equal. There’s a seismic difference between “Can you tell me about yourself?” And “What are your liquid assets?”

Understanding that difference is an important part of your training. Understanding the neuroscience behind asking questions is the first step in your journey.