Originally published on Advisor Perspectives, June 13, 2018

Harvard University has been the source of many great ideas. A 2012 study revealed the key concept that I have used to help advisors grow their practices. Its findings were expanded by just-released research from the university.

I owe a debt of gratitude to two psychology professors at Harvard. This 2012 study by Diana I. Tamir and Jason P. Mitchell was the turning point in my research (set forth in The Smartest Sales Book You’ll Ever Read) underpinning my Solin Process℠. The study had this key finding: We place an extraordinarily high value on talking about ourselves.

Once you understand that concept, it’s relatively easy to utilize it in all interactions – specifically when meeting with prospects. For advisors who embrace this finding, the results have been impressive.

New research from HBS

New research from Alison Wood Brooks and Leslie K. John, assistant professors at the Harvard Business School, builds on the research of Tamir and Mitchell by validating the power of asking questions and honing our ability to do so.

Initially, the authors noted the power of asking questions. Doing so “improve[s] our emotional intelligence, which in turn makes us better questioners – a virtuous cycle.” Other benefits include “building rapport and trust,” which should be the goal of advisors when meeting prospects.

Tips for asking better questions

Here’s a summary of the tips the authors provided for asking better questions:

Ask lots of open-ended questions; follow-up with additional queries.

My favorite question when meeting someone for the first time is, “Tell me about yourself.” An excellent follow-up is, “Tell me more about that.”

Research cited in the study showed that people who ask more questions engaged in more follow-up inquiries.

Sequencing matters

When you engage a prospect, your goal is to build a relationship. The best way to achieve this goal is to start with “relatively shallow questions” before proceeding to “more self-revelatory ones.”

I have extended this research. I tell advisors to let the conversation go wherever the prospect wants to take it, instead of trying to steer it in any particular direction. This approach builds trust.

Tone matters

People are more forthcoming when you ask questions in a casual way, rather than in a buttoned-up, official tone.

You often fall into the trap of conducting a business meeting. You set the agenda. You act in a formal, professional way. It’s difficult for you to be friendly, conversational and informal. Yet, doing so facilitates communication and creates a relaxed environment that puts the prospect at ease.

Group dynamics matter

Alison’s research reveals that participants in a conversation enjoy being asked questions and tend to like the people asking questions more than those who answer them.

Remember that the next time you address a group. My experience validates this observation. I turn my sessions into questions and answers with the audience. I’ve found that, regardless of the size of the group, participants really like it when I ask them questions.

Powerful conclusions

The conclusions of the authors about the power of asking questions are stunning:

• Questions and thoughtful answers foster smoother and more-effective interactions; they strengthen rapport and trust and lead groups toward discovery.
• The wellspring of all questions is wonder and curiosity and a capacity for delight.
• Sustained personal engagement and motivation – in our lives as well as our work – require that we are always mindful of the transformative joy of asking and answering questions.

I embrace these findings and instruct my clients and audiences to never utter a sentence that ends in period in the initial meeting with prospects. Every sentence should be a question unless you are asked a question. When you are, you should give a brief, thoughtful response and ask this question: Have I answered your question or would you like more details?

Do you still underestimate the power of asking questions?